Jaffe Juice

Hot on the heels of my post about United's decision to starve their coach customer on flights under 2 hours, I get an e-mail from the airline offering me 5,000 miles. They put it right in the subject header and in big bold type in the e-mail itself. Cool huh?

Actually it's 1,000 miles if I refer 4 people to join Mileage Plus. They even insult my intelligence by breaking it out: 250 x 4 = 1,000

The program continues by explaining that I only get my 5,000 miles if all 4 of the people I referred ends up flying a paid, qualifying roundtrip flight. (In case you're confused, I pasted the terms & conditions in the extended post below)

I'm preparing my elevator pitch now: hey trusted friend of mine, why not sign up for United's coooool frequent flyer program. They care sooooo much about you, they've even removed those unhealthy snacks.

Man, these guys need help....

TERMS AND CONDITIONS: Offer valid for Mileage Plus enrollment and paid, qualifying travel completed from January 10 through December 31, 2007. Sponsor may earn 250 miles once referral enrolls in Mileage Plus (up to four referrals) and an additional 1,000 miles after referral's first roundtrip flight on United, United Express or Ted (F, A, P, C, D, Z, Y, B, M, E, U, H, Q, V, W booking classes). Sponsor can earn a maximum of 5,000 miles. Referral receives 3,000 miles with Mileage Plus enrollment. Offer valid for qualifying, paid, published roundtrip fares. Offer not valid on the following fare types: United Economy® (S, T or L), Internet-only fares, companion, travel industry G class, contract, bulk, convention, tour conductor, children, family plan, government, group, military, senior citizen, student, youth, infant, tour basing, Round the World, Circle the Pacific, Visit USA or any nonpublished fares. Roundtrip travel is required. A roundtrip is defined as travel from an origin city to a destination city with return travel beginning in the outbound destination city back to the first origin city with all segments on United, United Express or Ted. Open jaw or circle trip itineraries do not qualify. E-Ticket® purchase is required. Valid only on flights operated by United, United Express and Ted and not on United-marketed code-share flights operated by other carriers. Referrals, who are not currently Mileage Plus members, may earn the bonus one time for a maximum of 3,000 bonus miles upon enrolling in the Mileage Plus program. To qualify for the bonus miles, enrollees must enroll in the Mileage Plus program within 30 days of the referral or by December 31, 2007, whichever comes earlier. Bonus is in addition to paid flight miles and any applicable elite and class-of-service bonuses. Qualifying flights must be credited to the Mileage Plus account in order to qualify for this offer. Offer not valid for employees of United, Mileage Plus or their affiliates. Bonus miles do not count toward elite status. Offer subject to change without notice. Other restrictions may apply. Miles accrued, awards issued and bonus miles are subject to the rules of the United Mileage Plus program. Please allow 6 to 8 weeks after completed qualifying activity for bonus miles to be posted to your Mileage Plus account. United, its subsidiaries, affiliates and agents are not responsible for any products and services of other participating companies and partners. The Mileage Plus Program, including accruals, awards and bonus miles offers, is subject to change without notice. Taxes and fees related to award travel are the responsibility of the passenger. United and Mileage Plus are registered service marks. For complete details about the Mileage Plus program, visit united.com/mileageplus. (MPG M07)