Along with all the warm and wonderful holiday cards I received this season the mailman also delivered a personal letter (it does start out "Dear Stanley Rapp...") in squint-sized type from my credit card-issuing bank. When it comes to illustrating what it's like to be the abused consumer I wrote about recently, this letter is a beauty.
It starts out well enough: "As your credit card company, we value your business." Then comes the bad news. A "default" has been committed. Yes, I confess, -- just this one time -- I did a terrible thing. My payment arrived 24 hours after the dreaded monthly deadline. Five years of never being delinquent doesn't mean a thing. As a de-valued customer, I now have the privilege of paying 29% interest on my credit card.
And that's just a part of the IRM (Insult Relationship Management) practiced by this and almost every other card issuer. The letter goes on to inform me that I can contact the bank when my account reflects a six month history of timely payments and they will then evaluate my account for a possible reduction in the interest rate.
Honestly, I'm not making this up. Six months of good behavior and they may or may not do something about the exorbitant rate and begin treating me like a valued customer again.
Sorry, my dear bank, I'm not waiting around to be pardoned. With great pleasure I will choose the best offer found in my mailbox next week from one of your competitors. Most likely it will offer little or no interest on transferred balances for the next six or more months. You won't have me to push around any more -- and you can now spend at least a hundred dollars in acquisition cost to replace me (could be more with your three tenths of one percent response rate to acquisition mail...).
One of my New Year's resolutions will be to always mail my payment to your competitor at least 5 days before the monthly deadline. Thanks for teaching me a lesson at your expense.
-- Stan Rapp
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